Have you ever seen someone park in a handicap parking spot, and they get out of the car and are clearly not old or handicapped? I'm sure you have, cause I see them all the time. And have you ever muttered a curse or negative remark under your breath, all the while assuming that they're using their grandmothers handicap parking permit illegally? I have plenty of times.
But it wasn't until I received a life long handicap parking permit, that I curbed my muttering (so to speak). At the age of 19 I was in a near fatal car crash which has since given me a handicap parking permit. Being youthful and not obviously disfigured or handicapped looking with no permanent wheelchair or cane to speak of, I do not look like the sort of person who should have a handicap permit. I do not resemble the hunchback of Notre Damn (who by all rights should have had access to a handicap parking permit) and yet I have been made to feel like Quasimodo.
In not looking like him and using a handicap permit, I have been judged wrongly. Judging me would have been awful enough, but I have had people glare at me, yell at me, and even spit on my car windshield. That's when my whole attitude changed about invisible diseases. My pain and disability at the time was something that was not obvious to anyone but me and the doctor who knew about my various conditions. I struggled with everyone I met , gauging how much to say fearing that they would take one look at me and judge me to be a hypochondriac. I even feared and questioned my families thoughts, and avoided slowing signs of pain or illness around them for fear that they would judge or question me.
After being diagnosed with Palindromic Rheumatism, my life has unfortunately gotten much easier in this arena, because the palindromic rheumatism leaves me walking slowly, limping and more and more often using a wheelchair. And subsequently, I don't get negative attention nearly as much as I used to. I waffle back and forth as to which I would rather deal with, but in the end the grass is always greener on the other side.
But because I know the pain of invisible disease (in all areas of life and not just parking) I am supporting Invisible Illness Awareness Week. Here's a video on the project. Cheers!
